Lovino Vargas and the Case of the Missing Tomato
by 9LRCenturion
Summary: What happens when Antonio finds a destroyed house and Romano frantically searching for something. Much havoc and bribing ensues. Rated for language and hint at boy/boy. *First fanfic*


This is my first fanfiction, especially for Hetalia, so I tried to do my best *laughs* Please let me know what you think and where I need to improve/did just fine. Thanks :)

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><p>Pots flew across the room as Lovino Vargas dug through the cupboard at the base of the island counter in the kitchen that he shared with his brother. The boy's narrowed eyes swept over the now bare shelves before moving to stand up, succeeding in banging his head into the doorframe. "Fuck!" he hollered, fully withdrawing his head and slamming the door shut as loud as he possibly could before sending a kick in its direction. In doing so, he only managed to inflect further damage onto his body, bare toes now throbbing a bright red. "Damn it!" he swore before stomping over to the counter that ran along the wall, climbing up onto the flat surface so as to thoroughly search through them.<p>

The younger of the Vargas brothers came trotting into the kitchen, humming a tune aimlessly to himself. But, when he saw the condition of the room before him, he froze, dark eyes widening. "Ve? Fratello?" he exclaimed as he eyed Lovino who stood wobbling on the top of a stack of piled dishes, running a hand over the top of cupboard, still intent on his quest. "What are you doing?" Feliciano pressed, beginning to run around the room, gathering the dishes into his arms.

"Nothing!" Romano hollered back, his mountain of pots and pans swaying dangerously. "I'm not doing anything! Go away!"

Feliciano blinked up at him, "Ve?"

"Leave me the fuck alone!" Lovino snapped, obviously in a more rancid mood than usual.

The more sensitive of the duo's eyes began to fill with quick tears at the last comment. "But fratello… why?" he cried, voice cracking as the tears began to flow freely.

Lovino heaved a heavy sigh, not in the mood to deal with his brother's sensitivity. "GO AWAY!" at this rather angry outburst, Felici turned and ran out of the room, heading straight for his bedroom.

The indignant Italian ignored the echoing cries and continued to thrash the kitchen, cursing loudly to himself the entire time, dishes slamming and crashing to the floor. "Damn it! If you're not here…" he warned, advancing upon the fruit basket now.

He grabbed the fruit balancing on the top. "An apple?" he hollered, sending it flying to the door. "Orange? Grapes? And what the hell is this?" he shouted, closely examining a kiwi before hurling it towards the door and the growing pile of now bruised fruit.

"Aww, Lovi, what's this?" asked an all too familiar voice just as the kiwi thwacked the owner in the forehead.

Romano's head shot straight up, eyes narrowing and curl bouncing. "YOU."

Antonio Fernández Carriedo gazed down at the short Italian, one brown eyebrow raised. "Mi amor!" he cried, putting a hand over his heart. "Is that anyway to greet one that cares for you as deeply as I do?"

"Fuck off!"

"Aww, Lovi!" he repeated, wading through the now covered floor, until he was standing just opposite of the counter as Romano.

Lovino scooped the entire bowl into his arms as he backed away from the counter, sending daggers flying towards the Spaniard with his eyes. "Fuck off, you dumb tomato bastard!"

"What are you doing in here, mi amor?" he asked, glancing around the kitchen that now closely resembled a demolition zone.

"Nothing! It's nothing! I'm not looking for anything! Fuck off!"

The Spaniard raised a dark eyebrow as he watched the younger nation. "Por qué? You are doing something!" he declared as he slowly advanced, reaching out and snatching up an apple from the basket, sidestepping a kick that Romano threw in his direction.

"I'm remodeling! That's all I'm doing! Now get the fuck out of here!" screamed Romano, beginning to pelt Tonio with the few remaining fruits before throwing the entire bowl at him.

"Remodeling? Excellent! Then I shall help you!" he declared, catching the flying dish with a bright smile.

Romano simply stood there, staring at the smiling idiot for a short moment before exploding. "Che palle! No you won't! Get the fuck out of here! I don't need your help! You're just a dumb, stupid, pomodoro eating bastardo! Just leave me alone and go eat shit!"

Antonio gave Romano a sad looking pout as he slowly set the bowl onto the cleared counter top. "Muy bein… if you really want me to leave, I guess I'll just have to give this nice round, plump, juicy, succulent, mouth watering tomato to Feliciano instead.." the Spaniard sadly sighed, pulling the very aptly described fruit from his pocket.

Lovino blinked at the retreating Spaniard's back, eyeing the bright red item in his hand. "Chigi! Stronzo! Give that to me!" he hollered, taking off after the elder nation, head lowered, perfectly intent on ramming it into Antonio's back.

But, the Spaniard could easily predict the young man's actions and turned around, effortlessly catching him in his arms. "Mi amor! I knew you would come to me!" he cried, holding him against his chest in a tight hug.

"Ch-chigi!" he cried, arms flailing. "Let go of me! Tomato bastard! Let go! Don't touch me! Get the fuck off!"

"Aww, my Lovi doesn't want this beautiful tomato that I found for him?" Antonio cooed into the other's ear.

"What the hell is a Lovi? Now let go! Get off o' me!" Lovino continued to struggle against the stronger nation's arms. "Where the fuck did you even get that tomato? It's not yours! Give it back!"

"Qué? What is this? Such a cute little thing refusing to accept my gift?" the Spaniard cried in shock, green eyes filling with pain.

Lovino blinked up at him for a short moment, captivated in those deep green eyes before snapping out of it with a curse. "Che palle! It was mine and you stole it!" he shouted, squirming around so as to wriggle out of Antonio's arms, fingers stretching out to snatch up the tomato. "It was mine! You stole it from me! Now give it back stronzo!"

As Romano's feet touched the ground, Spain allowed the greedy country to snatch the prize from his hand, watching him hurry several steps away, clutching the tomato possessively. "Stole from you? I would certainly never steal something from my Lovi!"

"I'm not _yours_ and I'm not a Lovi! Fuck off!"

"You always speak to me in such harsh words, mi amor!" Anotonio cried, once more placing a hand over his heart. "It pains me to hear that Lovi doesn't think of himself as mine!"

Romano's cheeks changed into a brilliant shade of red at these words, beginning to sputter unintelligible words in protest.

"Aww, Lovi looks just like a tomato when he turns red like that!" Tonio cried in delight, stepping forward and pinching Lovino's cheeks.

"S-stop calling me that! You..you pedophile!"

"Ahhh, mi amor…" the Spaniard replied with a sad sigh. "If that is how you feel, then you can return my gif-"  
>"Fuck off! This tomato is mine!" Romano shouted, taking a huge bite of it, like one would an apple. "Stronzo." He added on second thought, the red juice dribbling down his chin as he did so.<p>

Antonio tsk'd as he came over, withdrawing a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping off the sticky substance before Lovino could pull away. "Mmm, mi tomate, how would you ever get along without me?"

Romano smacked his hand away, face red with anger. _Of course it was anger, it's not as if he was __**blushing**__ from something that this stupid tomato bastard was doing. Totally not pleased about being called his tomato. Of course he was mad. Shuddup._ "Get off of me! I'm not a tomato and I'm not YOURS!" he hollered, squirming to get free, all the time being careful not to squash the remainder of the delicate fruit.

Tonio chuckled at the boy's response, releasing him after a short amount of struggling. "Sure you're not, mi amor~" was the amused response, with a complete lack of truth behind the words. "Of course I didn't come here to see you." He added with a yawn as he straightened up and turned to head out the door. "I'll be seeing Feliciano now, it was a pleasure to see you once more, Lovino~" And with that, the Spaniard disappeared out the kitchen doors.

Romano stared at the open space that had moments before occupied the cheerful Spaniard. _Wasn't his tomato? Hadn't come here to see him? What kind of fuckery was that bastard up to this time?_ Lonvino shoved what was left of the tomato into his mouth before continuing his rampage through the house, tearing every book from its shelf, emptying every drawer, checking through the pipes of the sink, and even in the bathroom cupboards. He only stopped his frantic search when he found his missing possession at long last… right where it belonged. The aggravated Italian gave it a suspicious look for a long moment before snatching it up and barreling down the hall, shouting Antonio's 'name'.

"Come here you fucking pomodoro bastardo! I know you're still in this house!" Antonio chuckled knowingly when he heard the rampage of the younger man.

"What is this? Do I hear a fruit angel calling my name?" he cooed, stepping into the hall, causing Lovino to skid to an immediate halt.

"Shuddup!"

Antonio grinned, eyeing the even deeper shade of red that was creeping its way over Romano's face. "Then what is it, mi amor?"

Lovino narrowed his eyes before shoving his prize winning tomato into the other's hands. "I have no use for it! It's probably all bruised and covered with germs and only some stronzo like you would still eat it and I don't want it to go to waste so that's the only reason I'm giving it to you!" he rambled, trying to cover up the fact that he was giving Antonio Carriedo the fruit that he had spent months carefully watering and feeding fertilizer to until it had grown to be the plumpest, juiciest looking, reddest tomato that you ever did see.

Tonio stared at the treasure in his hands, honestly taken by surprise for a moment before shouting a joyful exclamation and scooping the small Italian into his arms, swinging him around. "Lovi! This is incredible! You're giving such a jewel to me? Mi amor! Mi tomate~" he cooed, now hugging the squirming body to his chest and rubbing his cheek against Lovino's red one.

"Chigi! Wh-what? Bastard. Let go. Fucking.. Stop that!" Romano mumbled, only half heartedly trying to fight his way free this time.

Antonio simply smiled as he sat down on the floor, pulling Lovino into his lap and cuddling the profaning young man in his arms. "Lovi's so cute when he's embarrassed! His face looks just like a tomate! I could just eat you all up!" he cooed, taking Lovino's chin in his slender fingers and giving his lips a light kiss.

Romano's hazel eyes grew so wide at Tonio's actions that they about bulged out of their sockets, a startled "Ch-chigi!" escaping his lips as he buried his face in Antonio's shirt, deciding that he would never let anybody see his face again until this malledete bastardo had died. Or at least shut his pie-hole.

"Mmm~ Mi tomate is adorable~" Tonio cooed into a scarlet ear.

"… Shuddup…" Romano mumbled, giving Antonio's neck a firm bite _for payback, that's the only reason why. Why else would he?_ But he couldn't help but give a small grin as the praises turned from him to his tomato…


End file.
